I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
