Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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