I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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