oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
