Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize