well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
