imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
