Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
