he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
