Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
