? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
