Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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