Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
