Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
