just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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