Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
