What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
