we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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