i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
