I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Randomize
