If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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