I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
