Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
