Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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