I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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