i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
