I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
