Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
