P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
