for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
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