Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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