I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
