Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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