You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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