I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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