What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
