I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
