My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
