then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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