nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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