Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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