yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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