Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
