I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Come see our sink grown plant.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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