A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm drive I can fine osifer
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
