I think i peed on brittanys purse
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
