Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
