Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
