Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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