get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
