It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
