Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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