If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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