I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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