If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
