I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
