I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I will die if light touches me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
