Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize